'Womanhandling' Of Men And The Eerie Silence

| May 23 , 2015 , 20:07 IST

Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj-banner (1)

“It was evening at one of the most crowded metro stations in the National Capital Region – Huda City Centre. I was there, in a long queue near the exit gates with hundreds of people waiting and literally pushing each other to get out. There was an old man in front of me and a young woman ahead of him.

Despite the crowd, the man had maintained a decent distance from the girl while we stood very close to each other. When I finally managed to reach the exit these were only two people ahead of me. Amidst the thoughts of what I was going to do next after getting out of the station looking at the swiping machine– I heard a slap! The woman ahead had slapped the old man. His mistake- he had accidentally touched the hand of the woman in an attempt to swipe his card while her swipe had failed to open the gates and her hand was still on the machine.

Everyone around called the man names, the woman yelled at him creating a scene while he stood there silently. I knew the man’s act was not intentional but I could not muster the courage to speak up for him and even if I did it would have made no difference because people around had already declared him guilty! I felt helpless and that episode haunts me till today!”

I received this message in my inbox days ago - before the infamous “brick” incident that happened recently in Delhi. A police officer on duty was called “tuchcha” and “teri aukaat kya hai” by a woman who jumped a red light while carrying kids with her including a toddler, not showing her license and RC to him and finally attacking him with a brick. All was okay until that – because it was a woman hitting and abusing a man. All hell broke loose when the cop threw a brick back at the lady. The cop was suspended and later dismissed and arrested. Media replayed the footage of the cop attacking the woman again and again without caring a zilch about what had led to it.

Traffic Police Attacking A Woman

The Judge and the Jury sat in their chairs during prime time letting the “nation know” only what they wanted them to know! The entire episode was given a colour of “bribe demand” just because the woman said so. No one wanted to know the story of the cop – a man who had spent three decades in the service – and called for strictest action against him! After all how can a man attack a woman- that too an officer on duty!

Before you get me wrong, I am not defending the cop here. What he did was wrong, but was the woman right in her behaviour?

Should a person lose his sense of dignity and self-respect because a woman today in my country has the right to treat anyone the way she desires? A cop is supposed to maintain law and order and not create chaos, but what is the duty of a citizen? These questions have no relevance because worse has already happened with the policeman and the woman has already been applauded by none other than our very own Chief Minister. Thank god! That poor man had audio recordings with him to prove her allegations wrong; else he would have never got bail nor would the Delhi High Court got any inkling of the real story.

This episode reminded me of the Rohtak sisters case where the girls were declared bravehearts by every channel without knowing what actually happened in the bus at all. A Peepli live kind of situation was created in their village. The Chief Minister even declared a bravery award for the girls –for the mere fact that the girls had beaten up two boys with belts claiming molestation! The boys were denied to sit for their army exams, proclaimed molesters and sexual predators by media.


I brought the other side of the story to the world but it hardly made any difference. Kuldeep – the main accused was denied to write his exam and the case has reached no definitive conclusion yet. In fact has gone in cold storage!

The real question I wish to ask – why are we so okay with ‘women’ handling of men these days?

Few days after the ‘brick’ episode, a woman in GK slapped another cop. Barely two days after that, cops were assaulted again at India Gate by women.

A woman with her husband, who has already thrown out her in-laws from their own house, slapped and beat up her old father-in-law in full public view in Ambala recently. No one came to rescue the old man.

A woman burnt her husband and six of his family members alive in Madurai a day before.

A man who set himself on fire outside ACP office in Gurgaon after being thrashed and threatened in a women cell during hearing of a dispute with his wife died. No matter how many of such stories come out – it never calls for a debate if aggression and violence amongst women is growing.

As we move towards zero tolerance against any kind of violence against women, violence against men by women is not only being pardoned but being ‘accepted’ and ‘applauded’ increasingly. While no reason whatsoever justifies any kind of rash or violent behaviour towards a woman, we tend to attach several reasons behind violent act of a woman and justify the same often giving a lame reason “Men have done it for so long.” I am not too sure if this is the way towards ‘empowerment’ of women, but I certainly know it is justifying wrong as right in name of Gender Justice! Wait until you are the target.

(Deepika Narayan Bhardwaj is a documentary filmmaker and a social activist working against misuse of women centric laws.)

***The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Focus News. The writers are solely responsible for any claims arising out of the contents of this article.

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