Last week, I spoke about breastfeeding
. Today I want give you all some more truth about pregnancy and post pregnancy.
When I had my baby through a c-sec I couldn't breastfeed my oh-so-adorable infant wrapped in a pink blankie because I didn't have a normal delivery. The milk producing hormones called Prolactin & Oxytocin didn't kick in.. how do I know about these hormones.. I attended some classes and read a lot of pregnancy books, articles, blogs & I mean a 'lot' (don't do that as I think I went overboard). Well, back to the point.. that is perfectly normal if 'milk let down' moment is not happening but obviously it made me panic and felt miserable for not being able to feed my hungry, crying baby. It was middle of the night at the hospital room with my husband trying his best to calm her. But the little Angel in this new world wouldn't stop crying, I was helpless. On top of that the nurses gave nasty looks at my husband as according to them a female attendant should have been with me! One of them was really rude too.. like come on!? He is the father and wants to be with his wife and his new born baby.. cut him some slack and help us out! But you know after some drama & me desperately fighting the heavy doses of morphin... I called another nurse and I insisted I want to feed my baby. I told her to just give me my baby I will make her latch on because I learnt how to in one of my antenatal classes! Thank God for joining these classes and out of all the nurses who dissuaded me, this nurse was pretty calm and encouraging. She happily took baby from the crib and gave her to me with a smile like she was very proud of me.
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After few failed attempts (it will happen but don't get disappointed) it happened. I fed my baby for the very first time. It felt like a miracle!! She went to sleep for at least an hour, so told hubby to get some sleep but I couldn't.
This was all good but I will advice you one thing mommies. When other mothers, your mother, aunts and granny says you will need your rest. It is for a fact, you need it as stress and distractions hampers in the milk production. You need to be well fed, rested, calm and focused during breastfeeding. So please after delivery when the docs says "you rest now, baby is fine" you please sleep and I know everyone wants to a part of this joyous moment (friends & family) but please have a 'no guest policy'. Be adamant! You are not being mean you are just doing what is important. This is the time you, your baby's & the person who's gonna be staying with you in the hospital need rest.
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But I am also going to give you the hard truth, breastfeeding is miraculous but it is painful too. The first few times my baby couldn't latch on so it was frustrating and when we both got the hang of it, it started to hurt bad! She needed a feed every 30mins! So obviously my nipples cracked and it was so painful that I screamt. One of those days you kind of lose it but you know the moment I looked at my baby girl's face I whispered to myself "it is ok, it is a phase, the pain is worth it.' I love being a Mom but we all have our weak moments too.There were days, I also said "I can't do this." & pulled my own hair (literally!) but that that doesn't make any mom a bad mom. Motherhood is a gift which comes with all kinds of challenges. It can get rocky but you will get better in time.
It is fairytale story when people say the husband and wife will get closer after a baby, rather parenthood puts an enormous amount of stress in the strongest relationship. It is always presumed by couples that the baby-care chores will be evenly split but it never does happen as the Father automatically have the conscious thought of succeeding more to provide better and give 'us' a good life. It does changes the balance of the home. But everything get better, trust me. Communicate with your husband, tell him what you are thinking as he can't read your mind. He definitely has too many things on his mind too and he's probably doing the best he can.
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I used to love myself in almost a narcissistic way but my post pregnancy body made me dwell in self-pity (almost!). I had a 'no-shape' body. Putting on the TV made it worse when it is bombarded with fit celebrity moms. It is now that I realise it is ok. I just brought a life to this world! Your body goes through so much during childbirth, it is bound to happen and with slow and gradual fitness regimes you will get back to your previous body but of course you will have scars, stretch marks & shape of your breast will completely change! Give it some time to heal, do not be hyper -focus on losing weight. It took me 2 years to fit into my old pair of jeans from my college days. Also, please do not give your hubby a hard time for this, I am sure he is also trying to reconnect as a couple.
All I am trying to tell you Mommies and who wants to be mommies soon, Pregnancy, Motherhood, childbirth and parenthood is a gift not short of challenges. The image you had of starting a family before you became a Mom will not so much align with reality but it is still a very precious moment to be cherished. Celebrate motherhood and your body.
(In a particular order, she lives her life with the motto :- Dance, Smile, Giggle, Marvel. A full-time mommy of a delightful two-and-half year old girl, Pakhi Beri is a chocolatier, designer and freelance photographer in no random order.)
***The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Focus News. The writers are solely responsible for any claims arising out of the contents of this article.